Lions, Tigers, & LES OURS! Oh my!

February 11, 2015

Carnaval is celebrated the week before the start of Lent as the last hoo-rah before Easter. Each region in France has its own to traditions and this lucky duck got to experience "Carnaval Biarnes".  Everyday leading up to Mardi-Gras had a different event. One of the  first big events, "Chasse à l’Ours," was today.  

The story behind this region's Chasse à l’Ours:
The bears awake from hibernation and descend from the mountain. They are voracious and attack the young women to have sex with them (only pretend, but frightening nonetheless) and the village men attempt to save the women.

Luckily I missed the first part so I have a second-hand story of what happens:
Men are dressed in full-body bear costumes with belts precariously attaching red balloons  as penises. The bears are scattered about, around the Place where the main event is going to happen, and surprise attack young women with aggressive sexual motions.  I heard one American girl got sandwiched between two bears and another girl got knocked to the ground with four bears.  Apparently, the bears are not very selective and every girl got attacked.  Contrary to the tradition people don't come and save you, you just have to grin and bear it (pun!) for what I can imagine to be a very long minute.  After some shenanigans, the village men, who are women dressed as men with army green coats and drawn on mustaches, come to save the day (finally) and cut of the bears' penises.

Now the part where I showed up:
Then village men (women) and the bears (men) all danced around while the live band played the traditional music.  Next... there was a BEAUTY PAGEANT. I didn't see that coming. All the participants, males between ages 20 and 40 dressed in their most revealing dresses, gathered on stage. I bet you didn't see that coming either. #whatacountry  Each man took a turn going up to the host and sharing his woman name, a hobby, and striking a pose for the crowd. There were a lots of blond wigs, and scandalously short and form fitting dresses.  During the pageant, there were some bears on stage grabbing the dolled up men and faking sex with them. But it was incredibly aggressive and disturbing. After all 20 guys were introduced, the crowd yelled the name of their favorite and the lovely man sporting bunny ears, a blond wig, and short silver-sequined dress was dubbed "Miss Rose".  Now the party moved to the chateau and tout va bien. 

I just can't look at bears the same way.

Audrilly Wonka & her internship at the Chocolate Shop

#dreamsdocometrue

March 16, 2015

A little background: My study abroad program, USAC, offers internships and I chose to interview for the chocolate shop, Chocolat de Neuville, to count it as a marketing credit back at USC. After practicing interview questions, making a CV and LM, I went to the interview and one of the owners asked me a question and I gave her my [pathetic] spiel-- "My name is Audrey. I am very interested in cuisine and I love chocolate" and then after a pause they said "Noooo....where are you from?" 

Needless to say, I got the job. With communication skills like that, how could they refuse? #whatacountry

Today, I learned how to make a chocolate high heels (escarpins)!

1. Clean the molds. No fingerprints!
2. Melt chocolate slowly in a double-broiler (bain-marie). Pay attention to the temperature and make sure NO water gets in the chocolate.
3. Paint each half of the mold with the melted chocolate.
4. With a flat edge clean the edges of each mold.
5. Clip the two molds together and paint more chocolate over the seam.
6. Pour chocolate into the high heel mold and move it around to coat all the edges. Dump out all excess chocolate.***During this whole process, you have to keep reheating and cooling chocolate so it is at the proper working temperature.
7. With the flat edge clean the edges of the mold.
8. Set up something so the shoe can dry upside down, securely.
9. Wait an hour or so until you see the chocolate has completey dried. It will detach from the sides (chocolate shrinks when it is cold). Remove the molds and Voilà! 

Enjoy eating your chocolate shoe.

After Renaud (one of the shop owners) educated me on chocolate molecules and molding, there was not much store traffic so he took the liberty of educating me on guitar soloists. 

We started off where we left off last week-- watching videos of his favorite singer on "Nouvelle Star" (France's American Idol).  Her name is Emji and she has an AMAZING voice. She does a mean Amazing Grace, Feeling Good, Hallelujah...and probably everything else. She won, naturally.   Next up, Renaud showed me his favorite artist playing his favorite song. It's Steve Vai's "Tender Surrender".  Enjoy the video. Renaud is also a Joe Satriani (who?) fan.  He was surprised that I knew none of these american artists.  I was racking my brain for guitarists I listen to, but I don't... so I played him "Little Submarine" by the Black Keys.  Then I blew his mind when I said I had never heard the Dire Straits before. 

I'm going to have fun explaining my marketing experience with this one (n'import de quoi) to future employers.

Enchantez Paté

February 1, 2015

The family warned me they were having a lot of people over, but I didn't expect it to be like this...

         I woke up around 9:30 am to loud noises and after talking myself into going downstairs, my stomach grumbled and I descended in search of breakfast.  I opened the door to find a line of three older French men passing a mysterious animal part down in an assembly-line-like fashion to my host father at the end, who was hovering over a machine.  He was placing the part, maybe liver, into the machine and it would grind it and spit the red, chunky contents into the bucket sitting on the kitchen floor. #whatacountry  So with that....I took my croissant to the dining room table, where I found the rest of the group chopping shallots and garlic.

         For the rest of the day, I successfully avoided the process by showering, playing Monopoly, and then a movie.  Much to my chagrin the pâté process was still going on when we returned from the movie. This time more ordinary meat pieces were being passed down the line into the grinder producing ground meat.  In the dining room, there were more people combining the chunky red slime,ground meat, shallots, and garlic and placing into jars.

How to be Pau-lite

Manners and Mannerisms to help you blend with the local Palois people or just the French in general.

1. Smoke.  
1. Despite what you learned in the US, smoking is cool here and it is socially acceptable to see a 13 year old smoking.
2. Take small sips of water.
1. For meals, they usually just give you a small glass and expect that to be enough water for the whole meal.
3. Don't smile at strangers you pass.
1. Even if you make eye contact. Or they have a cute child (although I still smile at the child). 
4. Keep your hands on the table while you eat. 
1. It is perceived as rude when you have your hands in your lap (like you are taught to do in the US).
5. Say "Bon Appétit!" before you eat.
1. or just "Bon Ap!" 
6. Eat with your fork in the left hand and the knife in the right hand.
1. Only necessary when using a knife.  The French do not switch hands when they use knives like Americans do.
7. Don't leave a tip at restaurants.
1. Waiters and waitress do not rely on tips in France so the price of the dish is all inclusive.  You may tip if the service was exceptional.
8. Don't look both ways when you cross the street.
1. You just have to have confidence the cars will stop.
9. Wear nice shoes.
1. Everyone's shoes are impeccable.
10. Clean your plate.
1. I mean CLEAN YOUR PLATE. Scrap it clean with the fork or with a piece of bread.
11. Park anywhere your heart desires.
1. From what I can tell its a no-rule zone.  Cars are parallel parked on the same side of the street face in different directions.
12. Drive at any speed you desire.
13. Walk your pets without the leash and don't worry about cleaning up their poop. 
14. 
    

Audri-Gras & her experiences with French Cuisine

PARTY IN MY TUMMY

Une chocolatine (Pain au Chocolat)

These chocolate filled croissants are a French staple.  You can buy them in bags (like we do bagels) and eat them for breakfast.  I opt to eat them for a snack because of my morning blood sugar troubles (I can picture everyone rolling their eyes here).  I think they are a good symbol of the French people. They are simple, an understated delicious, and little crisp on the outside. #deepthoughts

La conifture du kiwi

Kiwi Jam! Who would have thunk!  We might have this in the US, but I have never seen it.  My host dad spent a day making kiwi jam from the kiwis in the garden.  It is delightful on a piece of toast with butter!

Fromage et œuf crêpe 

 I got this egg and cheese crêpe when we went to a crêperie for dinner near the chateau in Pau.  I didn't expect the egg to be sunny side up like that, but it was delectable.  Also, I learned crêpes can be made with two different kinds of flour, froment or sarrasin.  I chose Sarassin because it is the traditional flour used for crepes where they  started in the Brittany region.  It is a darker color, while Froment is the lighter color crêpe you typically see in the US. For dessert, I tried a chocolat crêpe and it tasted like melted ghirardelli chocolate.  It came out nice, warm and so rich! My neighbor and I traded crêpes so I ate some of his ice cream crêpes with my chocolate. Talk about a dynamic duo.

Magret de canard fumé

This is smoked duck breast. You cut of the fat (white part) and eat it with your fingers just plain.  I had some smoked by my host father. I enjoyed it much more than the pâté. The skin is a little tough and it is pretty salty, but I would try it again!

    Tartiflette

This is traditional dish for a region of France. It has potatoes and tariflette (reblochon) cheese. It's gooey and delicious.

    Quiche Lorraine

Quiche can be found in the US (with only minimal difficulty-- word of advice don't crave quiche on Sundays).  It is a open-faced pie crust filled with lots of eggs that make a sort of custard base and then cheese, ham, and other ingredients are added. I can't say no to a good quiche!

YUMMY

Macaron au Noisette

A macaroon is a type of small circular cake usually made with ground almonds in France. This Krabby-Patty-like dessert is typically light like meringue, with added coloring, flavoring and flavored filling.   We went to small shop just dedicated to macaroons for one euro a piece. I chose "noisette" (hazelnut) because hazelnut = nutella.  And not to confuse people with a tricky math equation, but my love for nutella  >  my love for myself. Is that too bold? No.  Anyways, I didn't get what the big fuss was all about.  It just tasted like a mini-cake with icing in the middle.

 Clafoutis aux cerises

This dessert is a sort of a cherry mousse.  It has the texture of a mousse, custard, or dare I say…flan! The host mom made this, except she forgot the sugar. Opps! So everyone sprinkled sugar on top to make it edible haha:) The cherries (with pits inside)  were from their garden.

YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE

    Pâté 

Pâté is a mixture of cooked ground meat and fat minced into a spreadable paste that comes in a can. And if that doesn't sound appetizing then I don't know what does! (not.)  My thoughts: it wasn't terrible, but its not for me.  My host parents reassured me and said that it is an acquired taste.

*To Be Continued

**These photos are from google and not my personal camera, but they closely resembled the foods I had while in France.

Living the P-life

in Pau, France that is.